This Past Week.

This past week, I learned a lot.

1.)  Teachers AND kids look forward to winter break - equally.  Both my boys, and myself were ready for winter break by the time we got to our half day of school last Wednesday.  The boys looked forward to not being in school, and I looked forward to having full days to get a massive amount of stuff done prior to the Christmas holiday.

2.)  Super-Woman Exists.  She lives in the mountains.  She gardens and reads and cooks really yummy food.  She puts up with my Dad.  She is Super-Woman every day. . .but twice a year, she offers to take my children for a long weekend. 
This past weekend was one of those special No-Kids weekends.

3.)  Redefine Romance.

I'm sure you are thinking, "Hmmm, no kids for an entire weekend!"  What could my husband I possibly do?

 

 

 

 

Sure, something romantic would have been nice. 

But, no. . .We had a more practical agenda.

 

 

 

4.)  "I have boys."  - That statement is said, like I have a medical condition. 

The towel rack was ripped out of the bathroom wall?  "I have boys."

The kids flooded their bathroom, and the water leaked down and damaged the kitchen ceiling?  "I have boys."

Massive amount of dirt, handprints, footprints (?!) on our walls from four feet down to the floor.  "I have boys."

Unknown stains on furniture and carpets that seem to be growing in size?  "I have boys."

 

 

So, my (wonderful) husband and I spent our kid-free weekend doing non-romantic things that involved caulking, sanding, painting, purging of toys and clothes, vacuuming, scrubbing, and spraying a lot of Febreeze.

 

 

"I have boys."

 

5.)  The best time to visit the Doctor is the day before a major holiday.

I have put off going to the doctor for several weeks now.  I have had a persistent, aggressive, and quite annoying dry hacking cough for a month.  I have tried a variety of at-home treatments with no success.  Finally, this past Tuesday I woke up (after a not-so-restful-night of hacking up a lung), and called the Doctor.

 

Not only did I get an appointment for first thing Tuesday morning, we arrived at the office, I was seen, and was on my way to the pharmacy in 21 minutes.  I plan to arrange all future illnesses and Doctor visits to coincide with days prior to major holidays.

 

6.)  I am getting old(er).

I have a birthday in a couple weeks.  Not that I am counting.  Since turning 35, I have been digging in my nails and holding on tight to the 30s. . .so as I approach 4-0, I feel a desire to stick my head in the sand, in a land called DeNial.

This leads me to my final lesson the past week.

 

7.)  Little kids are a lot smarter than I.

My boys got way too much for Christmas.  The main thing they got was an Xbox 360 and several coveted games they desired.  The system we bought only came with one remote, so we had to purchase a second remote.  Once the system was set up, the included remote synced with the system right away, but the boys could not figure out how to sync the second remote.

Eldest son, who is truly the apple of this tree, was quickly heading for Nuclear Meltdown over this technological blip in his Day of Joy and Electronics. 

I have no technological knowledge, but my wonderful husband was busy cooking breakfast, so it was up to me to handle this situation.

 

 

Banging the remote and pushing all the buttons did not work.

My expertise was exhausted.  With eldest son on the floor, and Nuclear Meltdown not far behind (for me, not him), I tossed the remote on the sofa and stalked off. 

 

What to do?  What to do?

Why, YouTube, of course.  I quickly typed in a search for syncing a remote with Xbox 360.  In a thirty second clip, a 5 year old child showed me and easily explained how to sync a second remote.

Problem solved. 

 

 

8.)  Finally, but certainly not least, I was reminded how lucky I am. 

Super-Woman (and Super-Dad) took the kids for a long weekend.  I know that's not easy - in fact it's downright exhausting.  But, they make the effort, and it's more than appreciated.  Because honestly, the best gift we got this holiday season?  The gift of time.  So, Thank You Super-Woman and Super-Dad.

I thank my amazing, wonderful, and supportive husband.  It was NOT a romantic weekend, but it was so nice to have quiet time together.  We did accomplish some much needed repairs and cleaning, and made time to go out to dinner at a nice restaurant.  While the weekend was not all romance and flowers, it was perfect.  I am the luckiest wife.

I thank my kids.  For all their challenges, they are incredible (---incredibly destructive), but seriously amazing young boys.  One thing I always enjoy about school breaks is that I do get to spend all day with my kids, and I get so many glimpses during the day of the intelligent, creative, fun, and sweet people they are and are becoming as they grow.

 

And also, Thank you five year old YouTube genius boy.  You saved this Momma.

Let's Talk About Success Baby, Let's Talk About You and Me

"Let's talk about all the good things
And the bad things, that may be."  - Salt N' Pepa

Seriously, the song has nothing to do with this post, other than when I typed in my title, it went along with this tune. . .

As any of you regular blog readers know, my eldest son can be a bit of a challenge.  He is a good boy, with a sweet heart - but I think of him like an M&M candy. . .He has a sweet interior with a hard candy shell. 

This school year is a big deal for all of us.  Because of his many challenges, we decided that we cannot keep promoting him through the grades, if he can't function on grade level.  We believe that a lot of the issues that we, his parents, and his teachers deal with are more behavior than academic.   If we can get the behaviors under control, the academics will fall into place. 


We have been working with him on his issues with a variety of support from the school, and outside the school.  What we have discovered, is that the more consistent his days, and the structure of his days, the better he does.  He needs continuity from school to home, in order to be most successful.

Ten days (or so) ago, we had an huge meeting at the school about my eldest son.  My husband and I had noticed a bit of backsliding with his behavior and attitude recently, and we wanted to catch him before it got worse.  We organized a meeting with all his teachers and a school administrator.  How many people were at this meeting?  Eight.  8.  Ocho.  Eight staff members, my husband and myself came together to discuss our son, and come up with a plan to help him be more successful. 

                                                     My kids have more than one caring adult.  How lucky are they?

During this meeting, which took an hour, I felt awe, appreciation, gratitude, amazement, and love - yes love - for all these people involved in my son's education, and his life.  These wonderful women, who are ridiculously underpaid for their jobs, came together for one hour for a meeting that my husband and I asked for earlier in the week - and came up with a plan.  We agreed that ALL teachers and my husband and myself included would follow this plan - for consistency between school and home.  This plan had clear goals and consequences.  We would all use the same terminology, to help be clear.

This plan has now been in effect for a bit over a week, and we are seeing tremendous success.

The plan was a culmination of efforts and strategies attempted over the past several years.  The one big difference?  We raised the bar. . .Instead of trying to work with where my son was currently functioning, we all said, Let's Kick It Up A Notch.  We told him, "We know you can do this, so let's do it."

The best part?  My son feels the difference.  He is happier.  Success means so many different things throughout parenthood:  Yay!  My child is talking.  Yay!  My child can walk!  Yay!  My child is nice to other children  - or whatever our goals might be for our kids. 

My son will have struggles for the rest of his life.  Many things that come easily or naturally to others are just not easy for him.  But, he has the most amazing team and support helping him to learn strategies and use resources that can help him better navigate this world that often frustrates him so.

The difference in our son this past week is night and day.  He is happier, more comfortable, and more successful in almost all aspects of his life.  With the firm foundation between school and home, he is willing to stand up, and work hard - even with a smile on his face.  We are so grateful to all the teachers and administrators.  I cannot thank these amazing women enough.  I learn from my son's teachers every day too, and because of them, I believe I am a better mother. 

While this plan is not "the answer" to all our hurdles with him, it is part of the positive behaviors that we are seeing from him, and most importantly that he is feeling - that's success.  Yay!

'Tis the Season: Huntersville Half

Today I ran my last race of 2013. 

On this rainy, cold, gray morning, I met my friends down in Huntersville to run the Huntersville Half Marathon.  The start time was 8:00am, and while there was some rain prior to the race, there was no rain at the start of the race, which was nice.

The joy in this race for me (is there really joy when running 13.1 miles?  Yes!), initially, was that I would get a great workout, while running with great friends.  We had no pace or time goal - just to run together, chat, and finish.

However, while I had a great time with my friends - the true highlights of the race for me, came from the support of others. . .

I have a 5th grade student that I work with occasionally.  His mother is a runner, triathlete, ironwoman - and he's an athlete as well.  He lives along the course I would be running today, and I jokingly asked him to be out there cheering, since he wasn't planning on running.

At Mile 4, I was thrilled, I mean genuinely ecstatic to see him at the corner.  I got a great smile and wave from him.  As I ran on my way, I felt so motivated by his effort to come out and cheer, to see a familiar friendly face.  That was really a wonderful gift, and he probably isn't even aware of how much it means to me that he was out there in that awful weather, to cheer on the runners.

About halfway through the race, we ran past the street where one of my running friends lives.  Her family was coming out to see us, but our scheduling was a bit off, so we all waved to one another.  Still, that was a treat to see her kids and husband coming out to support our run.

Finally, at the very end of the race, as I was rounding the turn to the finish, I heard someone yell out my name - in the groove, and not wanting to stop and scan the crowd, I plowed ahead to the finish.  Afterwards, I realized that my friends family (from the halfway point) had come to the finish.
Not only were they cheering, the kids had made signs with our names on them (and beautiful artwork on the back too). 

I was not kidding when I told my friend that my name sign/artwork meant more to me than the medal from the race.

These acts of kindness, thoughtfulness - are a reminder to me of how much a positive act and/or comment can make a difference in someone elses life. 

One of the many things that often aggravates me during this season is the Case of the Gimmies that my children seem to come down with starting in November.  "I want this" and "I want that" comes out of their mouths way too often.  We try so very hard to help teach and guide them to think of others year round, but especially during holiday times.  I think, given their young age, we are making progress.

My youngest son's teacher shared a story with me this week.  The kids at school have been a bit more - loud and energetic, than usual.  We, teachers, are chalking it up to the approaching holiday break.  The teacher shared with me that my son's class had been particularly chatty and wiggly the previous day, and all day long she had corrected them.  At the end of the day, she shared that my young son came up to her, gave her one of his big hugs, and said, "Mrs. W, I wouldn't like coming to school, if you weren't here.  You're the best teacher."

She said it really caused her to pause, because the only things she had said to him that day were, "Sit down,"  "Stop talking", and "Do your work."  Mrs. W told me that his hug and positive comment made her feel so good, and helped her to remember that positive comments make someone want to do better - be better, than when one is negative.  She took that into the next day, and really tried to encourage the kids through being positive. 

As I wrap up this running, biking, duathlon, triathlon, bootcamp, and spinning year. . .and reflect on my practices, races, and rides - I try to remember that the not only do I need to be more positive with myself.  If you recall, I achieved my Sub 2 last month with positive thinking.

I need to be more positive with others. 

It is, after all, an easy gift to give.

Testing. Testing. 1-2-3-4

What do running and EOGs (end-of-grade tests) have in common?

It turns out, quite a lot.

Today, we received the EOG test scores for our 9 year old son.  This is an huge high stakes test that is required in our great state, for all students in grades 3+. 

We are blessed enough to attend a school that does not put year-round emphasis on the test.  Instead, we follow the Common Core, but teach organically, and differentiate.  Learning, at our school, is honestly fun (according to the students, not just me!).  We do not teach to the test.

Last school year, my 9 year old was in 3rd grade, so it was his first year with the EOG test.  I have to be honest here - I have been worried about my son taking this test for the past three years.  He is very smart, but behaviorally challenging. 

In an attempt to not ramble on too much - I will cut to the chase.

My son took the test this past Spring.  We received the results today.  It has been forewarned, in ever increasing email posts and newspaper articles that the scores have plummeted across the state - due to a new test, new standards, new guidelines for passing.

According to the results my son would have "failed". 

Is it ridiculous that I was so happy when I saw his results, I was almost giddy?  No, I do not want my child to "fail", or as the state so kindly put it at his level he only has, "partial command" of the material.

In struggling with my reaction to my son's results - I found myself thinking about my most recent Half Marathon from this past weekend (see previous post).  I managed to pull off a Sub-2 time for the 13.1 mile race.  This is an huge achievement, and has been a goal of mine, since I started running half marathons over a year ago.

OVER A YEAR AGO.

When I ran my first half marathon, in March of 2012 - my goal was to just finish the race.  Seriously.  I had never run a half marathon.  It was a new experience, and while I can read all about it, and do my practice run, I still wasn't sure what to expect, and I didn't want to be unrealistic.  It was the NC Half Marathon at the Motor Speedway (where Nascar races).  I completed the race in 2 hours and 18 minutes, and I was thrilled.  I did it! 

This was my goal for my 9 year old son.  Leading up to the EOGs, all I hoped was that he would even sit and complete the test.  As I've posted before, he has "issues" - mainly behavioral.  I truly wasn't sure that he would sit for the 2+ hours to complete one test.  When he gets upset or frustrated, it can often snowball into a meltdown.  What if he got one reading passage into the test, and got anxious or upset, or frustrated or discouraged, or even just bored?  What if he just dug in his heels about not wanting to take the test, and just would not read or solve problems?  What if he spelled out inappropriate words with the bubble dots?  - It was a possibility. 

So, heading into the EOGs, we decided that we really just wanted him to, 1)  read carefully, 2) complete the test, and 3) use at least 2-3 strategies taught by his teachers.  Really, those were our goals - and afterwards, I learned that he did all three.  We celebrated.

Now, six months later, we were notified the test results were in the mail.

As I mentioned earlier, my son did not pass the EOGs. 
Still, I am thrilled.

He achieved his goals.  He finished the race.

I've since run six more half marathons.  My second one was my worst time, 2 hours and 20 minutes.  But I've continued to work on my running, nutrition, gear, and most recently mental attitude.  It also takes a "team" to succeed.  I've got a great running support group, amazing running friends, a Fitness Guru, and a Bootcamp Instructor Extraordinaire. 

I've got a supportive and positive husband and understanding children.

During races, there are amazing volunteers, water stops, cheerleaders, event staff, and community support.

My Sub-2 was not achieved without all of the above.

My son will have to take this test again. . .and again. . .and again.  There will be ones where his score is worse than the previous one, and hopefully, more often than not, steady gains.  While my 2nd half marathon was my longest time, all the following times have decreased.  For my 3rd half marathon (Run the Green - 2 hours 15 minutes.  My 4th half marathon was Ramblin Rose at 2 hours 13 minutes.  The 5th half marathon was Rock N Roll DC at 2 hours 10 minutes.  And, this past June, my 6th half marathon was the Charity Chase at 2 hours 6 minutes. 

We are so lucky that our boys have an amazing "team" to help them.  The teachers, administrators, EC support, amazing classmates - parents, grandparents, brother. . .They are both surrounded by support to help them not just finish the race, but succeed in the race.

And like running, it might not be the first race (clearly), and it might not be the second race - but I know, with such a great team, and proper training, they will be fine.   Because none of us is defined by the numbers in our lives.  I am not a Sub-2, and my son is not a "failure". 

We have succeeded in completing the races, and as long as we strive to improve - we are successful.

The Power of Positive Thinking.

A little unique quirk about myself is that I don't like to tell anyone anything until after I've done it.  I'm sure that others do this as well, but I notice it with sports more than any other area of my life.

In my mind, if I tell people, and then don't succeed, I have to face that over and over again - each person asking how the event went.  If I don't tell anyone, then no one asks about it, and I can just wallow on my own.

This past weekend, I ran the Tryon Half Marathon, in Tryon, NC.  I registered about a month ago, as way to guarantee a long run prior to the Huntersville Half, which I am planning on running next month.  I had not done a half marathon, or even a half training run, in over 5 months. 

For some reason, over the course of this past week, I got it in my head that I really, really wanted this race to be my Sub-2.  For the non-runners out there - there are certain goals some runners set for themselves as they race - a first 5k, a 10k, a half marathon, then a full marathon.  Runners also decide to achieve time goals - can I run a 5k faster than 20 minutes?  Can I finish a 10k in under an hour?
Sub-2 is a goal of completing a half marathon in under 2 hours.

Up until this weekend I had run 6 Half Marathons.  My slowest being my 2nd (The Scream) at 2 hours 20 minutes.  My fastest being the last one, in June, the Charity Chase in Hickory, at 2 hours 6 minutes.

As I completed my training runs this week, I wore my Garmin to gauge my pace and speed.  I practiced hill runs.  I practiced speed work.  I completed an endurance run (12.1 miles).  By my estimates, I would finish a half in 2 hours 10 minutes.  Then I found a nifty website where you can enter your last several 10k times, your age, etc, and it predicts the finish the time for your next half marathon. 

The prediction for me:  2 hours 1 minute and 57 seconds.

Unacceptable.  The challenge was on.  According to the website I needed to run a 9:09mm/pace to achieve a sub-2 time.

On the car ride to the mountains, I decided to share my goal with my husband.  "I want this," I told him, "but I don't know if I can do it."
We had a great discussion about the power of positive thinking; that a huge part of succeeding is thinking that you can succeed. 

Could I pull this off?  I didn't even know what the race would be like - the website was not very informative about the route, other than it would be a mix of packed gravel (90%) and paved roads (10%).  I didn't see an elevation chart until the morning of the race, it was posted next to check-in.  It would be hilly.   I texted my husband with a sad-face emoticon.  I was scared and anxious.  I wanted to sub-2, but didn't think I could pull it off on a hilly, gravelly course.  I was grateful that I had not told anyone else about my goal, because I didn't want to have to explain my failure. . .But I also wanted to feel the joy and pride of achieving this particular goal - and sharing it with others.

The race started a minute after 8am.  It was cool and drizzling, but not freezing.  I wore my Garmin, to try and keep myself on track.  The screen in the upper right hand corner showed my average pace.  My goal was to not let it go above 9:00minutes/mile. 

The bad:
It had rained the day before, so the gravel was a bit muddy in spots, and therefore, slippery.
At mile 4.5 as I was trying to get a GU out of my pocket, I dropped it, and had to turn back and pick it up - messed with my momentum.
Rolling hills - not too bad, but again, on gravel, I did not feel sure-footed at several points on the course.
Weird weather - so I did not feel dressed appropriately, and at two points debating on taking off my jacket and just leaving it.

The good:
I was prepared.  I had been practicing with nutrition too - and packed two GU gels.  I had one at mile 4.5 and another before mile 9.  In between those, I had sticks of gum to chew, which I think helps with thirst.
New music playlist I made.  Even though I listen on shuffle, several songs came up at perfect moments.  It was very motivating and inspiring.
Cooler weather made it easier to breathe, in my opinion.

The better:
I wanted to succeed.
I wanted to text/call my husband and be able to tell him that I finished in under 2 hours.
A few times I found myself thinking negative thoughts. . .I can't do this. . .I'm tired. . .This hill is too steep. . .I quickly changed gears to positive thinking, "I can do this!"
Every time I looked at my watch (way too often), and saw that I was keeping my pace at less than 9:00/mm, I kept thinking, "I've got this!"

The best:
I got my Sub 2.
According to the race site:  1:56:41
According to my Garmin    1:57:00

Average pace (upper right hand corner):  8:58/mm

I am riding a wave of happiness.  I want to wear a shirt that announces to the world that I ran a Sub 2.  Every now and then I will say out loud, "1:56"!  I'm a dork.

My lesson from this experience was that positive thinking really does matter.  This is another one of those situations where I KNOW that it's a good thing, but to actually do it?  A lot harder.

What would you try to achieve with positive thinking?

Running Is Cheaper Than Therapy?

When I first started running, I was able to validate my new hobby financially by rationalizing that it was a fairly inexpensive way for me to maintain sanity, and stay in shape. 

All I needed was a good pair of running shoes. 

 

Or, a few good pairs of running shoes.

Because as I discovered once I got a little more serious about running was that shoes can wear out quickly.  Also, if it was raining one day, it took a few days for those shoes to dry - so it helped to have an alternate pair.  Or two.  Or three.


Then, with the help of Fitness Guru, I learned that it was important to monitor my distance, pace, and heart rate.  Well, I needed a heart rate monitor (HRM) for that.  These range from basic to fancy.  I'm surprised there isn't an HRM yet that does the dishes, while one is out for a run.

Of course, there are purists out there - I am not one.  I like to run with music.  Now, I've had an iPod Nano for a long time, upgrading a couple years ago.  But my husband would make fun of me, as I got ready for runs - HRM strap, HRM watch on wrist, Phone in arm band on one arm, iPod on strap on other arm.  You can picture this, it really was quite funny.

After running my first couple races, I was hooked.  What could I do next?  A Half Marathon?  Check.  A Full Marathon?  Check.
As I ran longer and longer distances, I learned that there are all sorts of goodies one might need to survive, I mean, do her best.  My legs would be terribly sore after runs of 10+ miles.  So I invested in compression gear - calf sleeves (nice to wear after a long run), and compression tights (awesome for long runs).  Not cheap, but totally worth it for running recovery.

I also learned, the hard way, that I needed to take water with me on longer runs (longer than 6 miles), or anytime during the summer months.  So I needed a handheld water bottle.

If I have my handy dandy water bottle, with the cute little pouch in the front, I can carry my keys - and gels and beans, in the pouch.  BUT, if I am running without the water bottle (with said cute little pouch), I need an easy way to carry my keys and GUs and beans.
So, I bought a SPI-Belt.  Totally worth it.  This thing can hold my phone, keys, money, gels, beans, etc.  It doesn't bounce while I run, which was a big pre-purchase concerns.

Hold on. . .Wasn't this supposed to be affordable? 

Let's talk about race fees.
Due to budget issues, I have cut back on racing this year - but I still like to register for one race a month, to keep me honest in my training.  Most races will run at least $25 for a 5K up to $85+ for a Half.  I try to keep my races to a registration fee of $50.  Let's not forget that this fee includes an awesome medal and t-shirt! 

 

Then, there is all the other stuff. . .Stuff that you don't NEED to be a runner, but it is certainly nice to have if you run a lot. . .the reflective clothing, the various jackets to accommodate all kinds of weather, hats for summer, hats for winter, headbands with ponytail holes in the back, running gloves,

gels, GUs, sports beans, electrolyte tablets, electrolyte powders. . .

chafing sticks, muscle gels, ice packs and recovery bars. . .

And, while I have all this. . .Stuff. . .I have found recently that what I am really enjoying most about running, is running with a great friend.  I was able to run this past September with a very good friend, in beautiful Massachusetts (Cape Cod Zooma). 

While it was a wonderful "Girls Weekend", running with my friend for 6 miles was an added bonus.  Time to enjoy the beautiful scenery, and talk.

Now that school/work is back in session, I have regular weekday runs - One afternoon with a good co-worker friend.  We run at least one afternoon a week together, and have found that it throws off our whole week if we do not get this quality run time together.  We are currently training for a Half together this winter.  We talk about everything under the sun, and I always feel better after our runs.

I also have another co-worker friend with whom I try to run another afternoon a week, although our schedules don't always line up for success.  She is also a lot faster than I am - so it is a good challenge for me to run with her, but I have a lot more trouble carrying on a conversation when I run with her (perhaps that is planned on her part?!).


So really, I've found, what I am enjoying most about running lately is to NOT run with the HRM or the iPod, or my phone, or ten extra pounds of gear, but a really good friend,


and a really good pair of shoes.

It's Not Rocket Science.

I have no sense of distance or direction.  I would like to blame heredity as my mother, and her mother, also claimed this issue. 

One of the reasons I like running with others, is they often know routes!  Sad, but true.  They have taken the time to figure out a running route, and the distance of said route.  I don't even have to think, just follow.

Today I ran on my own.  I have several routes that I do regularly, and I know the distance (because I used my Garmin).  These are routes I run regularly when I need anywhere from 4-8 miles.  For longer runs, I try to just tack onto the tried and true routes by estimating. 

Remember.  I am distance/directionally challenged.  This is not my best idea.

I really wanted to run 8 miles today, but didn't want to run my usual two loops (same loop, 2x - kind of boring).  So, I figured I would run part of a normal route, and part of another route, and that the two together would be 8 miles.  Perfect! 

I set off after work by myself, and found a great groove for the first six miles.  By mile 6, however, I realized that this new route was going to be more than 8 miles. . .how much more?  Well, with my keen sense of distance and direction, I figured maybe 8.5-9 miles.  This would be my longest run in over a month.  I felt overwhelmed. 

Yet, once out on the road, there are no "take-backs".  I can't just stop at Mile 8 and say, "I'm all done."  I have to get back to my car.  I have to keep going.

This made me think, as I have often recently, about my wonderful step-sister.  She is a few months older than I am, and she just had her first baby a little over a week ago.  So I was thinking about labor and delivery.  I remember, with my first son, when my water broke, thinking, "Oh crap.  I have to do this.  I can't stop this, and this kid is going to come out very soon."  It was overwhelming, especially for someone who likes to be in control.

My stepsister used to be a midwife.  I found myself wondering how her recent labor and delivery experience was in relation to how she thought it would be in her mind.  I know, on my end, it was very long.  My father had texted me early on a Tuesday morning to let me know that she was in labor, and that the baby would probably have arrived around noon that day.

Starting at noon, I began texting my Dad for updates - too often.  At one point in the late afternoon, we finally spoke, and he said, "It's not rocket science.  This kid is going to come out sooner than later."  He was right.  My sister was on the path.  She was at Mile 8, and she had to finish. . .there was no "if", only when. 

I'm thinking about all this, as I hit Mile 8 in my run, and keep going.  I don't feel well, my stomach is upset, and I just want to stop, but I can't.  I need to get back to my car.  I've had these feelings before with running.  More often than not, on a long, exhausting run, a few miles before I am supposed to be done - I want to be finished. 

Yet, when I actually finish, whether 1 mile later or 5 miles later - I always feel amazing.  Whether this happens in a regular run, or a race, I always feel a tremendous sense of accomplishment.  I did it.

This particular day, as I crawled to my car, finishing up at Mile 10, on what was supposed to be an 8 mile run, I was able to celebrate with a chocolate bar, given to me that day by a fellow running friend.  What a great way to end my run.


My stepsister did it.  Early the next morning, my little nephew was born, at home, as my stepsister wished.  I wonder if she felt an amazing sense of accomplishment?  Despite the exhaustion I am sure she felt, was the feeling of Wonder Woman flowing through her veins?  It was a long labor and delivery.  I am sure there were times she wanted to reevaluate her initial birth plan - change the route - but she had support, she finished strong.  I think her end result is absolutely amazing. . .



Photo Credits:  Lizzie Easton-Montes

You Hit Like A Girl

For the most part, my husband and I have "traditional" roles in our marriage and household.  I am okay with this, but I also recognize that it's perfectly fine for the roles to be reversed.  In fact, I completely support whatever works for each family - and however a family defines themselves.

Living in my own personal Frat House - I've written about this before, but with a husband, two sons, and a male cat, I am seriously outnumbered - I feel like I am swimming upstream to teach my boys that while I have chosen this role for myself, it is not always this way, and that it's fine.

My 9 year old was recently telling me that he wanted to marry a close girl friend of his from school.  He was explaining how they were going to get married, and that they would have kids so she wouldn't be lonely at home all day.  I (casually) mentioned to him that perhaps said wife might want to work, and not stay home with the kids.  This gave my 9 year old pause - clearly, this possibility had not occurred to him. 

This is a regular struggle for me, as I know that I am the "at-home" Mommy.  I clean the house (okay, I grumble about our dirty house), do dishes, fold laundry, vacuum, shuttle kids, help with homework, cook dinner (fine - go out to eat/pick up take-out).  You get the idea.  So, this is how my kids view my "work".  However, I do these things because I want to - it's my choice.

Our youngest son took up boxing a few months ago.  We have encouraged each of our children to pick an afterschool physical activity, and our 7 year old decided on boxing.  I have no idea where that came from, but after a little research we allowed him to sign up at a local boxing gym that offers Youth Boxing classes 2x a week. 

At first our 7 year old LOVED it.  It was a great workout.  He got to hang out with the "big boys" - there were about 5 other boys in the class, all between ages 9-16 years old.  It was something new and different.  The coach for this group is amazing.  He is so positive, yet firm, and very patient.

About a month ago, my son decided he didn't want to do boxing anymore.  I think he was feeling a little bit overwhelmed with the workouts (they are pretty tough), and with the start of school, and these classes lasting an hour at a later evening time, he was exhausted.  When we signed up though, we committed to attending through November.

Luckily, there was a change in the make-up of the Youth Boxing groups, and my son ended up being with 3 other boys ages 9-11, so the workouts were not as tough, and he was with boys more his own age.  Still, he was struggling. . .

So. . .Oh. . .you know where this is going. . .

I offered to attend boxing with my son, in order to help encourage him through class.  I asked permission from the coach, because I didn't want to interfere with the lessons, but I also felt that if I could be right there, doing the workout too, that it might help motivate my son.  Plus, it's a great way to work off a tough day at work.


Sure enough, one month later, we both go to boxing, 2x a week.  I have my own hand wraps. 
My son loves our boxing time together, and he is talking about continuing longer than our November goal.  We often pair up for activities, and it really has turned into a fun, quality time activity for the two of us. 

Last night was one of our classes.  We were all in the ring, shadow boxing, and one of the other boys told my son, "You hit like a girl." 

No bueno.

Hello 10 year old boy, meet FITMama Bear Feminist.

I turned to the boy, and not wanting to climb up onto my Women Can Do Anything pedestal with someone else's child, I tried to casually imply that it wasn't really an appropriate comment, and HELLO???  I am right there next to him boxing! 

My problem isn't that I think it should be competition about Women being better then Men or vice versa, or who is stronger. . .faster. . .tougher. . .hit harder. . .I just think it should be about choice.  Anyone's choice.  To do whatever is their passion, and to do their best at it. 

Let me introduce you to Lucia Rijker.  Who, you ask?  An amazing female boxer.  Can she hit as hard or harder than a man? Yes, but as she says at the end of the clip (10:08 mark), it's not about being a girl who hits the hardest, it is about being the best at what she does.

So, the next time someone says you Hit Like A Girl, you can say

Thanks.

Where's the Finish Line?

When I am running a race, usually a Half, I find that I go through stages. 
The first stage is Exhaustion.  Yes, for the first 2-3 miles, I feel tired, and I wonder why I do these things to myself.  It feels like an huge effort to be running, and I can't seem to find my groove.  I feel a bit overwhelmed by the distance still ahead of me.

By mile 3, though, I am in a rhythm.  I am in the Peace stage.  I am comfortable and focused.  In fact, miles 3-6 are usually my fastest in a race.
Miles 7-10 are Mental Challenge miles.  I frequently do most of my Pep Talking during these miles. . .convincing myself that I can do this race, that I have trained, and that I am only fighting my mind, not my body.  These are the miles when I just want to quit.

Miles 10-13 are my Second Wind stage.  In my mind I am telling myself that I have "only 3 more miles" to go, and I know I can run three miles.  I. Can. Do. This.  I pick up my pace again.  I feel more positive.  I am looking forward to finishing, and am already thinking about a shower and coffee.

The finish line is in sight, so to speak, and I know I can do this.  I can finish, and finish strong.

There is no Finish Line in parenthood.  There is no Finish Line in life - well, there's one finish line, but that's not the one I am referring to. . .I think this is a challenge I am not sure how to approach.  One thing I love about racing is the huge sense of accomplishment I feel once I am done.  I have set a goal - run a Half (or whatever), I have trained, I showed up on time, ran the race, and finished.  It is a wonderful feeling.

Our family just completed Brain Balance.  I've written about this before - it's an Achievement Center program that we enrolled our 9 year old into to try and help him with behavior and academics.
This was a 12 week, very intensive program, that was 7 days a week, at least 2x a day, of physical, visual, and academic work.  It involved the whole family - which was a good thing.

I think in order to see success, with any child, it does "take a village".  The family, the school, the therapists - everyone had to be on the same page of our treatment plan in order for there to be success. 

There was success.  Both my husband and myself, and the school, have seen tremendous growth for our 9 year old son.  However, as much progress as he has made, there is still so much more to go.

This is discouraging, but reality.  While the actual 12 week program is complete - we are not done, by any stretch of the imagination.  Brain Balance has recommended an additional 12 week session.  I'm not saying NO, but I am not ready for all of us to sign on again.  We knew, prior to the end of our session, that Brain Balance was going to recommend another session (they mentioned it during the last re-evaluation).  So, we had been wording the impending conclusion as such, "When THIS session is completed";  because there is a good chance that there will be more sessions. 

I know that my son is relieved to be done For Now. . .we all are - it was a lot of work, and the schedule was extremely challenging.  We are still following an "at-home" program that requires some work, but not at the level we were at in the program. 

But how do I explain to him that we are NEVER done working towards bettering ourselves?  Just because he completed the program does not mean that he is "all better".  We all still have much work to do.  He still needs to work on behavior and academics - he's not done with that, even though we are currently done with the program.  Similarly, I am never done training, just because I finished a race.  There is always another race.  I have to stay in shape between events.  It is continual work, and it will be for my son as well, whether or not he is in Brain Balance.

Where is the Finish Line?  I think it's important to celebrate achievements along the way.  When I finish a big race, I usually like to reward myself - whether with an obnoxious sugary treat, or a pedicure.  We will celebrate my son's completion of THIS session of Brain Balance.  He has reached this Finish Line goal. . .for now. . .

Do we need an iHike app for that?

I try to attend at least one fieldtrip with each of my children every school year.

This past week, I went to Stone Mountain with my 4th grader.  Stone Mountain is about a 1 hour and 20 minute drive north of the school.  We rode up with another 4th grader and his mom, so we made good time.

Once at the Park, we waited until everyone and the school bus had arrived.  This fieldtrip was for all 4th graders, teachers, and any parent volunteers who wanted to attend.  I would say there were about 95 students, 8 active classroom teachers, and over 20 parent volunteers.  This meant that there was a small student to adult ratio, which is always good, especially when the fieldtrip starts with a sign like this:

That's right.  This was going to be a 5 mile hike, over 2000+ feet of elevation, a waterfall, steep inclines and even steeper declines, boulders, possible snakes, and active yellowjacket nests. 
Bring it on.


Due to the large number of adults present, I managed to just be responsible for my son - thank goodness.  Otherwise, I was prepared to use duct tape and rope with my group, because I was not going to risk returning with less students than I started out with - never a good thing.


Since I am uber-FitMama, this hike was fun, for me.  However, from early on and throughout, there was a massive amount of grumbling, whining, and complaining from students and adults about the strenuous hike.  I will admit it was challenging.  The incline was steep and long.  But it was a beautiful day, and it was a go-at-your-own-pace (for the most part) kind of hike.  The scenery was beautiful:

I felt saddened by the constant complaints.  These are young children - ages 9 and 10 years old.  I think, for the most part, these are healthy and relatively active kids?  Why are they struggling to do this hike?  Why is it so hard for them to walk a few miles on a beautiful (not too hot) day?  My own son did some complaining for about a 1/4 of a mile, right before we reached the top - it was quite steep with a lot of switchbacks.  I get it - it's a long walk for shorter legs. 

Is it unreasonable to think that 9-10 year olds should be able to handle the hike without wanting to pass out?  Shouldn't young children be enjoying an entire day spent outdoors instead of in a classroom?  Are our kids so out of touch with nature and physical activity that this sort of fieldtrip is seen as "work" as opposed to having to be at school?

As my son and I walked, and I heard the various grumblings around us - I found myself thinking back to my own childhood.  I remember riding my bike often. . .walking up to stores in town. . .playing with other kids in the neighborhood outside. . .I know it was a different time (era?), but we cannot be that far removed from the "good ol' days" of playing outside with sticks and rocks and having fun - are we?  Is there no more enjoyment to be found in playing outside with nature?  I think a lot of this struggle has to do with the amount of electronics in our lives.


How can nature compete with Minecraft or Skylanders?

It really was a great hike.  My son and I enjoyed the amazing views, the beautiful leaves (some changing colors), and our time together.  I am so glad I was able to attend.  It was wonderful to have this uninterrupted one-on-one time with my child.  We felt great success when we made it to the summit!

What would it take for kids to beg us to let them play outside and not make them sit in front of the TV or iPod or computer?