Let's Talk About Success Baby, Let's Talk About You and Me

"Let's talk about all the good things
And the bad things, that may be."  - Salt N' Pepa

Seriously, the song has nothing to do with this post, other than when I typed in my title, it went along with this tune. . .

As any of you regular blog readers know, my eldest son can be a bit of a challenge.  He is a good boy, with a sweet heart - but I think of him like an M&M candy. . .He has a sweet interior with a hard candy shell. 

This school year is a big deal for all of us.  Because of his many challenges, we decided that we cannot keep promoting him through the grades, if he can't function on grade level.  We believe that a lot of the issues that we, his parents, and his teachers deal with are more behavior than academic.   If we can get the behaviors under control, the academics will fall into place. 


We have been working with him on his issues with a variety of support from the school, and outside the school.  What we have discovered, is that the more consistent his days, and the structure of his days, the better he does.  He needs continuity from school to home, in order to be most successful.

Ten days (or so) ago, we had an huge meeting at the school about my eldest son.  My husband and I had noticed a bit of backsliding with his behavior and attitude recently, and we wanted to catch him before it got worse.  We organized a meeting with all his teachers and a school administrator.  How many people were at this meeting?  Eight.  8.  Ocho.  Eight staff members, my husband and myself came together to discuss our son, and come up with a plan to help him be more successful. 

                                                     My kids have more than one caring adult.  How lucky are they?

During this meeting, which took an hour, I felt awe, appreciation, gratitude, amazement, and love - yes love - for all these people involved in my son's education, and his life.  These wonderful women, who are ridiculously underpaid for their jobs, came together for one hour for a meeting that my husband and I asked for earlier in the week - and came up with a plan.  We agreed that ALL teachers and my husband and myself included would follow this plan - for consistency between school and home.  This plan had clear goals and consequences.  We would all use the same terminology, to help be clear.

This plan has now been in effect for a bit over a week, and we are seeing tremendous success.

The plan was a culmination of efforts and strategies attempted over the past several years.  The one big difference?  We raised the bar. . .Instead of trying to work with where my son was currently functioning, we all said, Let's Kick It Up A Notch.  We told him, "We know you can do this, so let's do it."

The best part?  My son feels the difference.  He is happier.  Success means so many different things throughout parenthood:  Yay!  My child is talking.  Yay!  My child can walk!  Yay!  My child is nice to other children  - or whatever our goals might be for our kids. 

My son will have struggles for the rest of his life.  Many things that come easily or naturally to others are just not easy for him.  But, he has the most amazing team and support helping him to learn strategies and use resources that can help him better navigate this world that often frustrates him so.

The difference in our son this past week is night and day.  He is happier, more comfortable, and more successful in almost all aspects of his life.  With the firm foundation between school and home, he is willing to stand up, and work hard - even with a smile on his face.  We are so grateful to all the teachers and administrators.  I cannot thank these amazing women enough.  I learn from my son's teachers every day too, and because of them, I believe I am a better mother. 

While this plan is not "the answer" to all our hurdles with him, it is part of the positive behaviors that we are seeing from him, and most importantly that he is feeling - that's success.  Yay!