It's my son's social life.
On my blog, I frequently mention my 9 year old - who is very much the apple of my tree. We are two peas in a pod. The same side of the coin. Cheese and sprinkles (for all you RIO fans).
Well, my 7 year old is the day to our night.
While my 9 year old challenges me regularly with behaviors and issues so similar to my own it is bizarre; my 7 year old forces me to step out of my comfort zone by dealing head on with true dislikes and discomforts completely foreign to ME. It is wearing me out with this stretching of my personal boundaries. I wonder if this is how my 9 year old feels about the changes we are working on with him? Something to ponder. . .
Our 7 year old is a social butterfly. The worst punishment we can inflict on him is to isolate him from others. He seeks out people no matter where we are, and everyone is a friend once he introduces himself. I am in awe of his openness. I watch him at playgrounds, parties, even stores, as he goes up to other children to say HI and chat. Everyone is immediately a best friend. All I can do is stand back and watch, because I am so impressed with his friendliness and desire to connect with others.
I am the opposite.
Leave me at home. Peace and quiet. No parties. No social hour. I would much rather be alone than be with a group of people. I've found if it's one or two friends, I am okay - but more than that is difficult for me. I mean truly difficult - like it's uncomfortable physically, for me to be with large groups of people. I avoid parties, if at all possible. I could go on and on about this - I am aware that I have issues, and really, I have been okay with this!
My Dad and Stepmom used to have an ornery old cat. This cat was anti-social and quite set in her ways. One time, after a social visit at my parents house, the cat could not be found. It turned out she had crawled up the chimney - we think - to escape all the people and noise. She was safely retrieved, but we often joked afterwards, about hiding up the chimney to escape the craziness.
Now, I must expand my anti-social bubble.
My 7 year old just started 2nd grade with a whole new group of classmates - a bunch of new friends to make - and make friends, he is. I volunteer regularly in the classroom, and there has not been one day in the past two weeks where I am not cornered (and I truly mean, backed into a corner), by up to three other 2nd grade boys requesting a playdate with my son, or a sleepover.
What???
I can barely handle my own two boys, and now I have more who want to come over? The noise level in my house is surely already triggering some national alarm for illegal levels without any assistance, but they want to add more kids to the mix? We already have holes in the walls, scuff marks all over the paint, and broken fixtures due to young boys, and now we want more active, loud boys to come over?
Let me re-read the parental contract, I am pretty sure I did not sign up for this. . .
Oh wait. There is no contract. I have to do this - because it's the right thing for my kids, even though it is like nails on a chalkboard to me.
I am doing it. It's been hard, to put it mildly. It is exhausting, to say the least. I want to crawl into a hole and hide. I want to wear earplugs, and pretend I don't hear all the yelling and noise. But I don't.
I'm in it. We are having playdates. They have been successful (no one died!). We attempted a sleepover - with a friend coming over here - and I was up until midnight, finally returning the homesick child to his mother, as I recall my own parents doing as well, with me being the homesick child (no surprise there, right?).
I have to make myself say YES to these playdates/sleepovers. It is an effort that needs to be made on my part. I don't like it. Just like I don't like running sprints and pushing myself so fast until I can barely breathe. And I don't like running super-long distances, spending hours out on the road. HOWEVER, by running sprints, and super-long distances, I build up my speed and endurance. . .before I know it, I am able to run faster and longer, and it's not as hard, because I've been working towards that goal.
It's the same with parenting. I do not like social situations. It is an huge effort to say YES and welcome more children into our home.
Like sprints and long runs, hopefully these playdates and sleepovers get easier -
If not, look for me up the chimney.
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