This Past Week.

This past week, I learned a lot.

1.)  Teachers AND kids look forward to winter break - equally.  Both my boys, and myself were ready for winter break by the time we got to our half day of school last Wednesday.  The boys looked forward to not being in school, and I looked forward to having full days to get a massive amount of stuff done prior to the Christmas holiday.

2.)  Super-Woman Exists.  She lives in the mountains.  She gardens and reads and cooks really yummy food.  She puts up with my Dad.  She is Super-Woman every day. . .but twice a year, she offers to take my children for a long weekend. 
This past weekend was one of those special No-Kids weekends.

3.)  Redefine Romance.

I'm sure you are thinking, "Hmmm, no kids for an entire weekend!"  What could my husband I possibly do?

 

 

 

 

Sure, something romantic would have been nice. 

But, no. . .We had a more practical agenda.

 

 

 

4.)  "I have boys."  - That statement is said, like I have a medical condition. 

The towel rack was ripped out of the bathroom wall?  "I have boys."

The kids flooded their bathroom, and the water leaked down and damaged the kitchen ceiling?  "I have boys."

Massive amount of dirt, handprints, footprints (?!) on our walls from four feet down to the floor.  "I have boys."

Unknown stains on furniture and carpets that seem to be growing in size?  "I have boys."

 

 

So, my (wonderful) husband and I spent our kid-free weekend doing non-romantic things that involved caulking, sanding, painting, purging of toys and clothes, vacuuming, scrubbing, and spraying a lot of Febreeze.

 

 

"I have boys."

 

5.)  The best time to visit the Doctor is the day before a major holiday.

I have put off going to the doctor for several weeks now.  I have had a persistent, aggressive, and quite annoying dry hacking cough for a month.  I have tried a variety of at-home treatments with no success.  Finally, this past Tuesday I woke up (after a not-so-restful-night of hacking up a lung), and called the Doctor.

 

Not only did I get an appointment for first thing Tuesday morning, we arrived at the office, I was seen, and was on my way to the pharmacy in 21 minutes.  I plan to arrange all future illnesses and Doctor visits to coincide with days prior to major holidays.

 

6.)  I am getting old(er).

I have a birthday in a couple weeks.  Not that I am counting.  Since turning 35, I have been digging in my nails and holding on tight to the 30s. . .so as I approach 4-0, I feel a desire to stick my head in the sand, in a land called DeNial.

This leads me to my final lesson the past week.

 

7.)  Little kids are a lot smarter than I.

My boys got way too much for Christmas.  The main thing they got was an Xbox 360 and several coveted games they desired.  The system we bought only came with one remote, so we had to purchase a second remote.  Once the system was set up, the included remote synced with the system right away, but the boys could not figure out how to sync the second remote.

Eldest son, who is truly the apple of this tree, was quickly heading for Nuclear Meltdown over this technological blip in his Day of Joy and Electronics. 

I have no technological knowledge, but my wonderful husband was busy cooking breakfast, so it was up to me to handle this situation.

 

 

Banging the remote and pushing all the buttons did not work.

My expertise was exhausted.  With eldest son on the floor, and Nuclear Meltdown not far behind (for me, not him), I tossed the remote on the sofa and stalked off. 

 

What to do?  What to do?

Why, YouTube, of course.  I quickly typed in a search for syncing a remote with Xbox 360.  In a thirty second clip, a 5 year old child showed me and easily explained how to sync a second remote.

Problem solved. 

 

 

8.)  Finally, but certainly not least, I was reminded how lucky I am. 

Super-Woman (and Super-Dad) took the kids for a long weekend.  I know that's not easy - in fact it's downright exhausting.  But, they make the effort, and it's more than appreciated.  Because honestly, the best gift we got this holiday season?  The gift of time.  So, Thank You Super-Woman and Super-Dad.

I thank my amazing, wonderful, and supportive husband.  It was NOT a romantic weekend, but it was so nice to have quiet time together.  We did accomplish some much needed repairs and cleaning, and made time to go out to dinner at a nice restaurant.  While the weekend was not all romance and flowers, it was perfect.  I am the luckiest wife.

I thank my kids.  For all their challenges, they are incredible (---incredibly destructive), but seriously amazing young boys.  One thing I always enjoy about school breaks is that I do get to spend all day with my kids, and I get so many glimpses during the day of the intelligent, creative, fun, and sweet people they are and are becoming as they grow.

 

And also, Thank you five year old YouTube genius boy.  You saved this Momma.

Let's Talk About Success Baby, Let's Talk About You and Me

"Let's talk about all the good things
And the bad things, that may be."  - Salt N' Pepa

Seriously, the song has nothing to do with this post, other than when I typed in my title, it went along with this tune. . .

As any of you regular blog readers know, my eldest son can be a bit of a challenge.  He is a good boy, with a sweet heart - but I think of him like an M&M candy. . .He has a sweet interior with a hard candy shell. 

This school year is a big deal for all of us.  Because of his many challenges, we decided that we cannot keep promoting him through the grades, if he can't function on grade level.  We believe that a lot of the issues that we, his parents, and his teachers deal with are more behavior than academic.   If we can get the behaviors under control, the academics will fall into place. 


We have been working with him on his issues with a variety of support from the school, and outside the school.  What we have discovered, is that the more consistent his days, and the structure of his days, the better he does.  He needs continuity from school to home, in order to be most successful.

Ten days (or so) ago, we had an huge meeting at the school about my eldest son.  My husband and I had noticed a bit of backsliding with his behavior and attitude recently, and we wanted to catch him before it got worse.  We organized a meeting with all his teachers and a school administrator.  How many people were at this meeting?  Eight.  8.  Ocho.  Eight staff members, my husband and myself came together to discuss our son, and come up with a plan to help him be more successful. 

                                                     My kids have more than one caring adult.  How lucky are they?

During this meeting, which took an hour, I felt awe, appreciation, gratitude, amazement, and love - yes love - for all these people involved in my son's education, and his life.  These wonderful women, who are ridiculously underpaid for their jobs, came together for one hour for a meeting that my husband and I asked for earlier in the week - and came up with a plan.  We agreed that ALL teachers and my husband and myself included would follow this plan - for consistency between school and home.  This plan had clear goals and consequences.  We would all use the same terminology, to help be clear.

This plan has now been in effect for a bit over a week, and we are seeing tremendous success.

The plan was a culmination of efforts and strategies attempted over the past several years.  The one big difference?  We raised the bar. . .Instead of trying to work with where my son was currently functioning, we all said, Let's Kick It Up A Notch.  We told him, "We know you can do this, so let's do it."

The best part?  My son feels the difference.  He is happier.  Success means so many different things throughout parenthood:  Yay!  My child is talking.  Yay!  My child can walk!  Yay!  My child is nice to other children  - or whatever our goals might be for our kids. 

My son will have struggles for the rest of his life.  Many things that come easily or naturally to others are just not easy for him.  But, he has the most amazing team and support helping him to learn strategies and use resources that can help him better navigate this world that often frustrates him so.

The difference in our son this past week is night and day.  He is happier, more comfortable, and more successful in almost all aspects of his life.  With the firm foundation between school and home, he is willing to stand up, and work hard - even with a smile on his face.  We are so grateful to all the teachers and administrators.  I cannot thank these amazing women enough.  I learn from my son's teachers every day too, and because of them, I believe I am a better mother. 

While this plan is not "the answer" to all our hurdles with him, it is part of the positive behaviors that we are seeing from him, and most importantly that he is feeling - that's success.  Yay!

'Tis the Season: Huntersville Half

Today I ran my last race of 2013. 

On this rainy, cold, gray morning, I met my friends down in Huntersville to run the Huntersville Half Marathon.  The start time was 8:00am, and while there was some rain prior to the race, there was no rain at the start of the race, which was nice.

The joy in this race for me (is there really joy when running 13.1 miles?  Yes!), initially, was that I would get a great workout, while running with great friends.  We had no pace or time goal - just to run together, chat, and finish.

However, while I had a great time with my friends - the true highlights of the race for me, came from the support of others. . .

I have a 5th grade student that I work with occasionally.  His mother is a runner, triathlete, ironwoman - and he's an athlete as well.  He lives along the course I would be running today, and I jokingly asked him to be out there cheering, since he wasn't planning on running.

At Mile 4, I was thrilled, I mean genuinely ecstatic to see him at the corner.  I got a great smile and wave from him.  As I ran on my way, I felt so motivated by his effort to come out and cheer, to see a familiar friendly face.  That was really a wonderful gift, and he probably isn't even aware of how much it means to me that he was out there in that awful weather, to cheer on the runners.

About halfway through the race, we ran past the street where one of my running friends lives.  Her family was coming out to see us, but our scheduling was a bit off, so we all waved to one another.  Still, that was a treat to see her kids and husband coming out to support our run.

Finally, at the very end of the race, as I was rounding the turn to the finish, I heard someone yell out my name - in the groove, and not wanting to stop and scan the crowd, I plowed ahead to the finish.  Afterwards, I realized that my friends family (from the halfway point) had come to the finish.
Not only were they cheering, the kids had made signs with our names on them (and beautiful artwork on the back too). 

I was not kidding when I told my friend that my name sign/artwork meant more to me than the medal from the race.

These acts of kindness, thoughtfulness - are a reminder to me of how much a positive act and/or comment can make a difference in someone elses life. 

One of the many things that often aggravates me during this season is the Case of the Gimmies that my children seem to come down with starting in November.  "I want this" and "I want that" comes out of their mouths way too often.  We try so very hard to help teach and guide them to think of others year round, but especially during holiday times.  I think, given their young age, we are making progress.

My youngest son's teacher shared a story with me this week.  The kids at school have been a bit more - loud and energetic, than usual.  We, teachers, are chalking it up to the approaching holiday break.  The teacher shared with me that my son's class had been particularly chatty and wiggly the previous day, and all day long she had corrected them.  At the end of the day, she shared that my young son came up to her, gave her one of his big hugs, and said, "Mrs. W, I wouldn't like coming to school, if you weren't here.  You're the best teacher."

She said it really caused her to pause, because the only things she had said to him that day were, "Sit down,"  "Stop talking", and "Do your work."  Mrs. W told me that his hug and positive comment made her feel so good, and helped her to remember that positive comments make someone want to do better - be better, than when one is negative.  She took that into the next day, and really tried to encourage the kids through being positive. 

As I wrap up this running, biking, duathlon, triathlon, bootcamp, and spinning year. . .and reflect on my practices, races, and rides - I try to remember that the not only do I need to be more positive with myself.  If you recall, I achieved my Sub 2 last month with positive thinking.

I need to be more positive with others. 

It is, after all, an easy gift to give.