It's Not Rocket Science.

I have no sense of distance or direction.  I would like to blame heredity as my mother, and her mother, also claimed this issue. 

One of the reasons I like running with others, is they often know routes!  Sad, but true.  They have taken the time to figure out a running route, and the distance of said route.  I don't even have to think, just follow.

Today I ran on my own.  I have several routes that I do regularly, and I know the distance (because I used my Garmin).  These are routes I run regularly when I need anywhere from 4-8 miles.  For longer runs, I try to just tack onto the tried and true routes by estimating. 

Remember.  I am distance/directionally challenged.  This is not my best idea.

I really wanted to run 8 miles today, but didn't want to run my usual two loops (same loop, 2x - kind of boring).  So, I figured I would run part of a normal route, and part of another route, and that the two together would be 8 miles.  Perfect! 

I set off after work by myself, and found a great groove for the first six miles.  By mile 6, however, I realized that this new route was going to be more than 8 miles. . .how much more?  Well, with my keen sense of distance and direction, I figured maybe 8.5-9 miles.  This would be my longest run in over a month.  I felt overwhelmed. 

Yet, once out on the road, there are no "take-backs".  I can't just stop at Mile 8 and say, "I'm all done."  I have to get back to my car.  I have to keep going.

This made me think, as I have often recently, about my wonderful step-sister.  She is a few months older than I am, and she just had her first baby a little over a week ago.  So I was thinking about labor and delivery.  I remember, with my first son, when my water broke, thinking, "Oh crap.  I have to do this.  I can't stop this, and this kid is going to come out very soon."  It was overwhelming, especially for someone who likes to be in control.

My stepsister used to be a midwife.  I found myself wondering how her recent labor and delivery experience was in relation to how she thought it would be in her mind.  I know, on my end, it was very long.  My father had texted me early on a Tuesday morning to let me know that she was in labor, and that the baby would probably have arrived around noon that day.

Starting at noon, I began texting my Dad for updates - too often.  At one point in the late afternoon, we finally spoke, and he said, "It's not rocket science.  This kid is going to come out sooner than later."  He was right.  My sister was on the path.  She was at Mile 8, and she had to finish. . .there was no "if", only when. 

I'm thinking about all this, as I hit Mile 8 in my run, and keep going.  I don't feel well, my stomach is upset, and I just want to stop, but I can't.  I need to get back to my car.  I've had these feelings before with running.  More often than not, on a long, exhausting run, a few miles before I am supposed to be done - I want to be finished. 

Yet, when I actually finish, whether 1 mile later or 5 miles later - I always feel amazing.  Whether this happens in a regular run, or a race, I always feel a tremendous sense of accomplishment.  I did it.

This particular day, as I crawled to my car, finishing up at Mile 10, on what was supposed to be an 8 mile run, I was able to celebrate with a chocolate bar, given to me that day by a fellow running friend.  What a great way to end my run.


My stepsister did it.  Early the next morning, my little nephew was born, at home, as my stepsister wished.  I wonder if she felt an amazing sense of accomplishment?  Despite the exhaustion I am sure she felt, was the feeling of Wonder Woman flowing through her veins?  It was a long labor and delivery.  I am sure there were times she wanted to reevaluate her initial birth plan - change the route - but she had support, she finished strong.  I think her end result is absolutely amazing. . .



Photo Credits:  Lizzie Easton-Montes

You Hit Like A Girl

For the most part, my husband and I have "traditional" roles in our marriage and household.  I am okay with this, but I also recognize that it's perfectly fine for the roles to be reversed.  In fact, I completely support whatever works for each family - and however a family defines themselves.

Living in my own personal Frat House - I've written about this before, but with a husband, two sons, and a male cat, I am seriously outnumbered - I feel like I am swimming upstream to teach my boys that while I have chosen this role for myself, it is not always this way, and that it's fine.

My 9 year old was recently telling me that he wanted to marry a close girl friend of his from school.  He was explaining how they were going to get married, and that they would have kids so she wouldn't be lonely at home all day.  I (casually) mentioned to him that perhaps said wife might want to work, and not stay home with the kids.  This gave my 9 year old pause - clearly, this possibility had not occurred to him. 

This is a regular struggle for me, as I know that I am the "at-home" Mommy.  I clean the house (okay, I grumble about our dirty house), do dishes, fold laundry, vacuum, shuttle kids, help with homework, cook dinner (fine - go out to eat/pick up take-out).  You get the idea.  So, this is how my kids view my "work".  However, I do these things because I want to - it's my choice.

Our youngest son took up boxing a few months ago.  We have encouraged each of our children to pick an afterschool physical activity, and our 7 year old decided on boxing.  I have no idea where that came from, but after a little research we allowed him to sign up at a local boxing gym that offers Youth Boxing classes 2x a week. 

At first our 7 year old LOVED it.  It was a great workout.  He got to hang out with the "big boys" - there were about 5 other boys in the class, all between ages 9-16 years old.  It was something new and different.  The coach for this group is amazing.  He is so positive, yet firm, and very patient.

About a month ago, my son decided he didn't want to do boxing anymore.  I think he was feeling a little bit overwhelmed with the workouts (they are pretty tough), and with the start of school, and these classes lasting an hour at a later evening time, he was exhausted.  When we signed up though, we committed to attending through November.

Luckily, there was a change in the make-up of the Youth Boxing groups, and my son ended up being with 3 other boys ages 9-11, so the workouts were not as tough, and he was with boys more his own age.  Still, he was struggling. . .

So. . .Oh. . .you know where this is going. . .

I offered to attend boxing with my son, in order to help encourage him through class.  I asked permission from the coach, because I didn't want to interfere with the lessons, but I also felt that if I could be right there, doing the workout too, that it might help motivate my son.  Plus, it's a great way to work off a tough day at work.


Sure enough, one month later, we both go to boxing, 2x a week.  I have my own hand wraps. 
My son loves our boxing time together, and he is talking about continuing longer than our November goal.  We often pair up for activities, and it really has turned into a fun, quality time activity for the two of us. 

Last night was one of our classes.  We were all in the ring, shadow boxing, and one of the other boys told my son, "You hit like a girl." 

No bueno.

Hello 10 year old boy, meet FITMama Bear Feminist.

I turned to the boy, and not wanting to climb up onto my Women Can Do Anything pedestal with someone else's child, I tried to casually imply that it wasn't really an appropriate comment, and HELLO???  I am right there next to him boxing! 

My problem isn't that I think it should be competition about Women being better then Men or vice versa, or who is stronger. . .faster. . .tougher. . .hit harder. . .I just think it should be about choice.  Anyone's choice.  To do whatever is their passion, and to do their best at it. 

Let me introduce you to Lucia Rijker.  Who, you ask?  An amazing female boxer.  Can she hit as hard or harder than a man? Yes, but as she says at the end of the clip (10:08 mark), it's not about being a girl who hits the hardest, it is about being the best at what she does.

So, the next time someone says you Hit Like A Girl, you can say

Thanks.

Where's the Finish Line?

When I am running a race, usually a Half, I find that I go through stages. 
The first stage is Exhaustion.  Yes, for the first 2-3 miles, I feel tired, and I wonder why I do these things to myself.  It feels like an huge effort to be running, and I can't seem to find my groove.  I feel a bit overwhelmed by the distance still ahead of me.

By mile 3, though, I am in a rhythm.  I am in the Peace stage.  I am comfortable and focused.  In fact, miles 3-6 are usually my fastest in a race.
Miles 7-10 are Mental Challenge miles.  I frequently do most of my Pep Talking during these miles. . .convincing myself that I can do this race, that I have trained, and that I am only fighting my mind, not my body.  These are the miles when I just want to quit.

Miles 10-13 are my Second Wind stage.  In my mind I am telling myself that I have "only 3 more miles" to go, and I know I can run three miles.  I. Can. Do. This.  I pick up my pace again.  I feel more positive.  I am looking forward to finishing, and am already thinking about a shower and coffee.

The finish line is in sight, so to speak, and I know I can do this.  I can finish, and finish strong.

There is no Finish Line in parenthood.  There is no Finish Line in life - well, there's one finish line, but that's not the one I am referring to. . .I think this is a challenge I am not sure how to approach.  One thing I love about racing is the huge sense of accomplishment I feel once I am done.  I have set a goal - run a Half (or whatever), I have trained, I showed up on time, ran the race, and finished.  It is a wonderful feeling.

Our family just completed Brain Balance.  I've written about this before - it's an Achievement Center program that we enrolled our 9 year old into to try and help him with behavior and academics.
This was a 12 week, very intensive program, that was 7 days a week, at least 2x a day, of physical, visual, and academic work.  It involved the whole family - which was a good thing.

I think in order to see success, with any child, it does "take a village".  The family, the school, the therapists - everyone had to be on the same page of our treatment plan in order for there to be success. 

There was success.  Both my husband and myself, and the school, have seen tremendous growth for our 9 year old son.  However, as much progress as he has made, there is still so much more to go.

This is discouraging, but reality.  While the actual 12 week program is complete - we are not done, by any stretch of the imagination.  Brain Balance has recommended an additional 12 week session.  I'm not saying NO, but I am not ready for all of us to sign on again.  We knew, prior to the end of our session, that Brain Balance was going to recommend another session (they mentioned it during the last re-evaluation).  So, we had been wording the impending conclusion as such, "When THIS session is completed";  because there is a good chance that there will be more sessions. 

I know that my son is relieved to be done For Now. . .we all are - it was a lot of work, and the schedule was extremely challenging.  We are still following an "at-home" program that requires some work, but not at the level we were at in the program. 

But how do I explain to him that we are NEVER done working towards bettering ourselves?  Just because he completed the program does not mean that he is "all better".  We all still have much work to do.  He still needs to work on behavior and academics - he's not done with that, even though we are currently done with the program.  Similarly, I am never done training, just because I finished a race.  There is always another race.  I have to stay in shape between events.  It is continual work, and it will be for my son as well, whether or not he is in Brain Balance.

Where is the Finish Line?  I think it's important to celebrate achievements along the way.  When I finish a big race, I usually like to reward myself - whether with an obnoxious sugary treat, or a pedicure.  We will celebrate my son's completion of THIS session of Brain Balance.  He has reached this Finish Line goal. . .for now. . .

Do we need an iHike app for that?

I try to attend at least one fieldtrip with each of my children every school year.

This past week, I went to Stone Mountain with my 4th grader.  Stone Mountain is about a 1 hour and 20 minute drive north of the school.  We rode up with another 4th grader and his mom, so we made good time.

Once at the Park, we waited until everyone and the school bus had arrived.  This fieldtrip was for all 4th graders, teachers, and any parent volunteers who wanted to attend.  I would say there were about 95 students, 8 active classroom teachers, and over 20 parent volunteers.  This meant that there was a small student to adult ratio, which is always good, especially when the fieldtrip starts with a sign like this:

That's right.  This was going to be a 5 mile hike, over 2000+ feet of elevation, a waterfall, steep inclines and even steeper declines, boulders, possible snakes, and active yellowjacket nests. 
Bring it on.


Due to the large number of adults present, I managed to just be responsible for my son - thank goodness.  Otherwise, I was prepared to use duct tape and rope with my group, because I was not going to risk returning with less students than I started out with - never a good thing.


Since I am uber-FitMama, this hike was fun, for me.  However, from early on and throughout, there was a massive amount of grumbling, whining, and complaining from students and adults about the strenuous hike.  I will admit it was challenging.  The incline was steep and long.  But it was a beautiful day, and it was a go-at-your-own-pace (for the most part) kind of hike.  The scenery was beautiful:

I felt saddened by the constant complaints.  These are young children - ages 9 and 10 years old.  I think, for the most part, these are healthy and relatively active kids?  Why are they struggling to do this hike?  Why is it so hard for them to walk a few miles on a beautiful (not too hot) day?  My own son did some complaining for about a 1/4 of a mile, right before we reached the top - it was quite steep with a lot of switchbacks.  I get it - it's a long walk for shorter legs. 

Is it unreasonable to think that 9-10 year olds should be able to handle the hike without wanting to pass out?  Shouldn't young children be enjoying an entire day spent outdoors instead of in a classroom?  Are our kids so out of touch with nature and physical activity that this sort of fieldtrip is seen as "work" as opposed to having to be at school?

As my son and I walked, and I heard the various grumblings around us - I found myself thinking back to my own childhood.  I remember riding my bike often. . .walking up to stores in town. . .playing with other kids in the neighborhood outside. . .I know it was a different time (era?), but we cannot be that far removed from the "good ol' days" of playing outside with sticks and rocks and having fun - are we?  Is there no more enjoyment to be found in playing outside with nature?  I think a lot of this struggle has to do with the amount of electronics in our lives.


How can nature compete with Minecraft or Skylanders?

It really was a great hike.  My son and I enjoyed the amazing views, the beautiful leaves (some changing colors), and our time together.  I am so glad I was able to attend.  It was wonderful to have this uninterrupted one-on-one time with my child.  We felt great success when we made it to the summit!

What would it take for kids to beg us to let them play outside and not make them sit in front of the TV or iPod or computer? 

TRI-umphant

I am a. . .Triathlete.

This morning I completed my first official triathlon, and loved it!
I was most nervous about the swim, as that is my weakest area - I don't really have much practice, nor a lot of opportunity to practice.  So I was anxious about it, to say the least.  I was pretty confident in my biking and running though, so that's what helped push me through.

I participated in the Ramblin' Rose Triathlon, which is targeted at women, and very encouraging of first time triathletes. 

As always, I was up at zero dark thirty to get ready and head out.  I got to the race site parking by 6:40, and was through packet-pick-up, chip wrapping, body markings and transition set-up by 7:30am. 

The race started at 8am.

Let me clarify that - the race started at 8am, for those who were so confident in their swim abilities to list "10" - the fastest swimming slot on their sign-up, and so they got to go into the building first to start their swim.

I was still standing outside, waiting to enter the building, to go to the pool, when the first runners came through to head to the finish (keep in mind that the order is swim, bike, run - so if the runners were coming through. . .well. . .you get the idea).

This particular Tri utilized an indoor pool at an Aquatic Center.  Some Tri's use local lakes or ponds.  I felt like for my lack of swimming experience that the pool would be best, because if I really, really needed to stop, there would be a wall/lifeguard nearby.

No worries.  I did better than expected at the swim (although still my slowest pace time).  This swim was 250 yards - 10 lanes of 25 yards each.  I didn't drown.  I didn't drown anyone else. 

From the swim, we exited the building to head out to the parking lot transition area.  I managed to get to my bike, and shove my wet feet into socks (I hadn't planned on this being an added challenge, but it was).  Got my bike, and headed out to a 9 mile ride.  This part was fun, and I felt good about my riding. 

Back towards transition, on an uphill.  Got my bike onto the rack, and my feet into my running shoes.
Running after biking is always awkward, to me, at first.  It seems to take a good 1/2 mile before I feel like my legs are functioning properly.  This was no different, but at least I could anticipate it, and the run was only 2 miles. 

Similar to the riding, I felt good about the running.  The sun was shining, and it was a beautiful day.

I finished strong, although I don't know my time.  I aimed to complete and have fun, and was hoping for an hour or less on the final time.  **Just checked and my final time was 0:57:11**

No matter, it was a great experience.  I would certainly TRI it again.

As a side note - this race came at the end of a very rough motherhood/working week.  It was one of those weeks where nothing seemed to go right, people were snappy and demanding (myself included), and I was so grateful when Friday night rolled around, and I could at least start to recover from the hectic craziness of our weekday schedules.


During the TRI, I found myself thinking that as challenging as these races can be - nothing is more challenging than the day-to-day of life.  In fact, I often find myself thinking that my runs/bikes/races are a break from my daily demands and craziness. 

This was a great way to end one week, and start another. 

Saying YES

The past few weeks are taking their toll on me.  No, it's not work, as some might assume, since I just returned recently.  No, it's not the working out and fitness, which is still my sanity time.

It's my son's social life.

On my blog, I frequently mention my 9 year old - who is very much the apple of my tree.  We are two peas in a pod.  The same side of the coin.  Cheese and sprinkles (for all you RIO fans). 

Well, my 7 year old is the day to our night. 

While my 9 year old challenges me regularly with behaviors and issues so similar to my own it is bizarre; my 7 year old forces me to step out of my comfort zone by dealing head on with true dislikes and discomforts completely foreign to ME.  It is wearing me out with this stretching of my personal boundaries.  I wonder if this is how my 9 year old feels about the changes we are working on with him?  Something to ponder. . .

Our 7 year old is a social butterfly.  The worst punishment we can inflict on him is to isolate him from others.  He seeks out people no matter where we are, and everyone is a friend once he introduces himself.  I am in awe of  his openness.  I watch him at playgrounds, parties, even stores, as he goes up to other children to say HI and chat.  Everyone is immediately a best friend.  All I can do is stand back and watch, because I am so impressed with his friendliness and desire to connect with others. 

I am the opposite.

Leave me at home.  Peace and quiet.  No parties.  No social hour.  I would much rather be alone than be with a group of people.  I've found if it's one or two friends, I am okay - but more than that is difficult for me.  I mean truly difficult - like it's uncomfortable physically, for me to be with large groups of people.  I avoid parties, if at all possible.  I could go on and on about this - I am aware that I have issues, and really, I have been okay with this!

 

My Dad and Stepmom used to have an ornery old cat.  This cat was anti-social and quite set in her ways.  One time, after a social visit at my parents house, the cat could not be found.  It turned out she had crawled up the chimney - we think - to escape all the people and noise.  She was safely retrieved, but we often joked afterwards, about hiding up the chimney to escape the craziness.

Now, I must expand my anti-social bubble. 

My 7 year old just started 2nd grade with a whole new group of classmates - a bunch of new friends to make - and make friends, he is.  I volunteer regularly in the classroom, and there has not been one day in the past two weeks where I am not cornered (and I truly mean, backed into a corner), by up to three other 2nd grade boys requesting a playdate with my son, or a sleepover. 

What???

I can barely handle my own two boys, and now I have more who want to come over?  The noise level in my house is surely already triggering some national alarm for illegal levels without any assistance, but they want to add more kids to the mix?  We already have holes in the walls, scuff marks all over the paint, and broken fixtures due to young boys, and now we want more active, loud boys to come over? 

Let me re-read the parental contract, I am pretty sure I did not sign up for this. . .

Oh wait.  There is no contract.  I have to do this - because it's the right thing for my kids, even though it is like nails on a chalkboard to me.

I am doing it.  It's been hard, to put it mildly.  It is exhausting, to say the least.  I want to crawl into a hole and hide.  I want to wear earplugs, and pretend I don't hear all the yelling and noise.  But I don't.
I'm in it.  We are having playdates.  They have been successful (no one died!).  We attempted a sleepover - with a friend coming over here - and I was up until midnight, finally returning the homesick child to his mother, as I recall my own parents doing as well, with me being the homesick child (no surprise there, right?). 

 

I have to make myself say YES to these playdates/sleepovers.  It is an effort that needs to be made on my part.  I don't like it.  Just like I don't like running sprints and pushing myself so fast until I can barely breathe.  And I don't like running super-long distances, spending hours out on the road.  HOWEVER, by running sprints, and super-long distances, I build up my speed and endurance. . .before I know it, I am able to run faster and longer, and it's not as hard, because I've been working towards that goal. 

It's the same with parenting.  I do not like social situations.  It is an huge effort to say YES and welcome more children into our home. 

Like sprints and long runs, hopefully these playdates and sleepovers get easier -

If not, look for me up the chimney.

Chasing Rainbows.

I don't know what your exercise schedule is like - but for the most part, I plan mine out a week in advance.  I know which classes I will attend at the gym, and I know when and how far I plan to run or cycle - at the beginning of every week.

This past week, it got to be the very end of the week, and I knew I wanted to run and/or swim.  We were in the mountains for the long weekend.  On Sunday, as the day progressed, we got behind with various activities, and I felt my workout opportunity slipping away.  With a boom of thunder, I quickly changed into my running clothes, hoping to get in 3 miles before the storm.  It would have to do -
A mile and a half into the run, the sky opened up.  Not with sprinkles or drizzle - an enormous downpour, pounding on the pavement, causing steam to rise up, and the humidity to double.  I am running - not near enough to the cabin to seek shelter.  In a matter of seconds, I am drenched.  I might as well keep going, right?  In the pouring rain, in the steam, in the humidity, I ran my 3 miles (3.5 to be exact).  As I was rounding the final turn, the rain slowed down, and the sun peeked out - and what do you know, but a rainbow appeared on the ground about 2 feet in front of me.  I focused on the rainbow, and ran towards it. . .rounding another turn, I was now upon the rainbow.  In fact, it looked like it was shooting out of my left shoe.  I caught the rainbow.

This got me thinking about how when I was younger, I was taught the acronym for remembering the colors of the rainbow - ROY G BIV (red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet). 

My 9 year old is almost 2/3 of the way done with his twelve weeks of Brain Balance.  After this week, he will have four more weeks.  He has made tremendous progress in quite a few areas.  Many people are asking us, "Do you think Brain Balance is working?"  "Do you think Brain Balance is the reason for his improvement?"

Yes...and No.

I do not think we would have seen this improvement, this fast, without Brain Balance.  I think that Brain Balance has been an enormous part of the success we are seeing right now.  I am so glad that we are able to participate in this program, and work with such an amazing and supportive staff.  I want to attend Brain Balance.  I think everyone could benefit from this kind of program.

But I also think that Brain Balance is standing on the shoulders of others.  Our school is amazing.  Every teacher who has contact with my children, even the ones they just pass in the hallways, is wonderful and helpful.  Each teacher that my son gets to work with has helped him to get to where he is now, and they continue to raise the bar while encouraging him. 

My parents have supported all of us through a variety of therapies, and therapists, in an effort to give my son the tools and strategies he needs to improve and be successful.

My husband and I both have not just taken our child to these therapies and therapists, but modified our lives, our schedules, and our parenting, in order to be more organized, be more supportive, be more disciplined, and to create the scaffolding needed in order to support our child(ren) in the different ways they learn and grow.

Like the rainbow - it takes rain and sunshine, for all the colors to come together to create something beautiful.
It takes this village of grandparents, teachers, Brain Balance, friends, family, and parenting, in order for my children to shine.  Their colors are showing, and I thank YOU all.