It has been a wonderful summer. I think we all enjoyed the break from rushing out the door first thing in the morning, and having a more relaxed schedule during the day.
This entire summer, I've been struggling with my running - my endurance, the weather (pouring rain or horrible humidity), making time to log the miles, and most importantly my desire. I have a blogger friend who recently posted about not enjoying running, so why was she pushing herself so much with it? That post got me thinking about my struggles.
I have decided that I still enjoy running. However, I no longer care to torture myself doing it. I don't want to take 2 hours every weekend to log a long run. I don't want to wake up ridiculously early in order to cram in more miles so that I reach a weekly mileage goal. What I do want - is to enjoy running again. . .I want that feeling of freedom and my worries slipping away. I want to feel that I've gotten a good workout, without compromising my entire day in order to achieve that one goal.
This morning, at spin class, I found myself thinking about all the races I've completed, and the few that I still have ahead of me. . .I realized that I have not registered for a running race recently - and I felt physically ill for a moment. What am I doing? I need to get home, get online and find a race to participate in before the end of August!
No. Deep breath. Shift.
I do not NEED to be registered for a race, in order to run - or bike. I can, and will, do this on my own. I realize that initially, I registered for races to keep myself motivated. If I had a race that I had committed to - by golly I was going to be ready, so it kept me in line with my workouts and training.
I think I have enough of a routine now, that I enjoy - I am not going to fall off the exercise wagon. That had been my initial concern. Now, I am looking forward to running, or biking, on my own terms.
Don't get me wrong. I am still registered for races, and will continue to register - I am sure. They are a good experience, and I like going to new venues (and of course, collecting t-shirts). However, I am also enjoying just running with friends. I like heading out on my own, and finding a new quiet road to explore - at my own pace.
This is a work in progress. It's a change from my previous exercise path, and will take some adjustment, some shifting. But I think it will help to bring back my enjoyment with running, which has been seriously lacking this summer.
And maybe, just maybe, it will help me to live more in the moment. . .
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